Michael Jackson is dead.
So is Farrah Fawcett.
What a day. No wonder there were epic thunderstorms (in which I was caught and by which I was drenched).
I don't have much to say, other than work and school are peachy keen.
But I did have to blog. About this. Farrah is a sad case, of course, but she Michael Jackson dying is momentous. It is BIG. He was an icon.
I feel old.
But not sad.
I'm starting to be happy for the people who die.
Even though death terrifies me, I'm wondering if there is anything afterwards that would justify us saying, "He's in a better place".
If there is, I'm happy.
25 June 2009
07 June 2009
It's a new dawn, it's a new day... have I used this as a blog title before?
Well well well my lovelies, it has been a while since I have blogged. Sorry...ish.
It has been quite an eventful week really! Except for Monday, which I pretty much spent naked under the covers while watching Queer as Folk. That was summer vacay. I did go to Hall in the morning though, which was super nice. I popped in on Reist, Kennedy, and Lloyd (who was under-appreciative). I missed Reist so much!
Tuesday I started work and was nervous as hell but honestly, after that first day things were fine. Everyone I work with is really nice and even though there's a lot of pressure to help the students enroll during the sessions, it's actually kind of fun. You just barrel through it.
And the people really make it worth it! In the office there are Marcia, Hannah (my direct supervisor), Ruane (love her!), Becky (another oddity from Fac of Arts), Lejeune, Elena, Susy (obviously!), Jennifer, and Gail. There are the student advisors too, who are all really cool. Nick is the nicest and most helpful, but Andrew and Greg are pretty great as well. Tieg is alright but has this weird aura about him, I'm not really sure why. Two new advisors showed up Thursday... I remember that one is named Ina, but I can't remember the other girl's name. Eek!
So the week has been really great and Susy's been singing my praises because I apparently do an excellent job with the online advising thing. :) Ruane's also very happy because my here-and-there work in the office is speeding things along. I like feeling appreciated at work.
I got my grades back, by the way! Final result:
Friday I was star-spotting because they're filming an episode of Flashpoint on campus so Mom and I went to check it out on lunch. I also saw the people for next season of So You Think You Can Dance Canada heading into Vanier res for seclusion, haha.
Yesterday we went to visit Nonna in the hospital and ended up going to Sicilian for dinner/ dessert, which was super nice. Then Emi and I watched Goldfinger and ate ketchup chips. I like Sean Connery. I like not working weekends.
I'm also reading The First Man in Rome finally, because The Fall of Carthage is boring me at the moment (sorry Adrian Goldsworthy!)
I think that's all I have to say.
Oh and, I have my lover once more. He's still as far away as usual. But I am happy I think.
It has been quite an eventful week really! Except for Monday, which I pretty much spent naked under the covers while watching Queer as Folk. That was summer vacay. I did go to Hall in the morning though, which was super nice. I popped in on Reist, Kennedy, and Lloyd (who was under-appreciative). I missed Reist so much!
Tuesday I started work and was nervous as hell but honestly, after that first day things were fine. Everyone I work with is really nice and even though there's a lot of pressure to help the students enroll during the sessions, it's actually kind of fun. You just barrel through it.
And the people really make it worth it! In the office there are Marcia, Hannah (my direct supervisor), Ruane (love her!), Becky (another oddity from Fac of Arts), Lejeune, Elena, Susy (obviously!), Jennifer, and Gail. There are the student advisors too, who are all really cool. Nick is the nicest and most helpful, but Andrew and Greg are pretty great as well. Tieg is alright but has this weird aura about him, I'm not really sure why. Two new advisors showed up Thursday... I remember that one is named Ina, but I can't remember the other girl's name. Eek!
So the week has been really great and Susy's been singing my praises because I apparently do an excellent job with the online advising thing. :) Ruane's also very happy because my here-and-there work in the office is speeding things along. I like feeling appreciated at work.
I got my grades back, by the way! Final result:
- Greek: A+
- Latin: A+
- Myth: A
- History: A
Friday I was star-spotting because they're filming an episode of Flashpoint on campus so Mom and I went to check it out on lunch. I also saw the people for next season of So You Think You Can Dance Canada heading into Vanier res for seclusion, haha.
Yesterday we went to visit Nonna in the hospital and ended up going to Sicilian for dinner/ dessert, which was super nice. Then Emi and I watched Goldfinger and ate ketchup chips. I like Sean Connery. I like not working weekends.
I'm also reading The First Man in Rome finally, because The Fall of Carthage is boring me at the moment (sorry Adrian Goldsworthy!)
I think that's all I have to say.
Oh and, I have my lover once more. He's still as far away as usual. But I am happy I think.
31 May 2009
Shane Fair
I figured I would leave a blog post until tomorrow since I planned to do absolutely nothing today, but I wonder when I will have time since I am apparently going to Hall with Tara tomorrow, and I start work on Tuesday (!).
Before I go into anything trivial though, I will stop to have a paragraph of... er... mourning? Well, I don't know.
A York student, 19-year-old Shane Fair, went missing two weeks ago after the Calumet College Formal. York was in a panic. Signs up everywhere and most people paying attention - myself included - wanted so badly for him to be found safe and sound. We weren't so lucky. His body was pulled from Lake Ontario last night.
I didn't know Shane, but I am devastated. It feels so empty when a whole group of people has banded together to hope for something and all hopes are suddenly dashed.
Rest in peace, buddy.
In other news:
I feel sad.
:(
Before I go into anything trivial though, I will stop to have a paragraph of... er... mourning? Well, I don't know.
A York student, 19-year-old Shane Fair, went missing two weeks ago after the Calumet College Formal. York was in a panic. Signs up everywhere and most people paying attention - myself included - wanted so badly for him to be found safe and sound. We weren't so lucky. His body was pulled from Lake Ontario last night.
I didn't know Shane, but I am devastated. It feels so empty when a whole group of people has banded together to hope for something and all hopes are suddenly dashed.
Rest in peace, buddy.
In other news:
- Yesterday was Emilio's Confirmation party, which went insanely well. Joe's food was top notch and everyone enjoyed themselves. I even had too much to drink, but it still wasn't enough.
- I got an A+ in Ancient Greek as a final grade. Yeah, I know. Completely unexpected.
- I dropped off my uniform at Subway and picked up my last cheque. Official severing of all ties complete!
- I packed up all my first-year books and stored them in the basement. Will need a few of them again next year though.
I feel sad.
:(
29 May 2009
And by leaving we don't stop living you know
Well, fare thee well, fare thee well, fare thee well.
I like that song.
Anyway, HELLO! It is Friday.
My brain's weird today. Life is just completely bowled over since I am now finished first year and I am, therefore, at home, and not at York.
Wednesday's Latin exam went really well. I think. I finished it in 40 minutes, and the 3% bonus was to translate the first two lines of Catullus 5. Fingers crossed for an A+? I also got my Horace assignment back and I got a 90 on that so, yay.
Result of being finished: drowned myself in season 3 of the Tudors Wednesday evening. I also got a haircut.
Yesterday was Emi's Confirmation so we were very busy cooking and baking for when people came over after the church thing. Everything went alright and it was very nice, but I realized how much I really hated Catholicism while we were actually at the church.
First off, I hadn't been to that parish since my own Confirmation about five years ago. Secondly, the new priest? I thought he was alright the one time I saw him at Hall (you know, that one time I actually didn't skip liturgy in Grade 12), but yesterday evening I realized how much I really don't like him. He is so gimmicky. Even the music grated on my nerves. It was too upbeat and poppy.
I get what they're doing. Church is losing followers, so they're trying to make it "fun". That's LAME. Lame lame lame. Be real. Be fucking real. From an objective perspective, the archaism is what can make the Catholic Church beautiful. Poppy Alleluias? Fuck you. That's not beautiful. It's not going to stir passion in anyone. Hymns can make ME cry when sung PROPERLY.
So much of it is bullshit. And Father Larry getting mad at people for not singing. Ridiculous. The grim faces of the men handing around the collection baskets, looking so intimidating. Oh yes, and, "Do you reject Satan, Prince of Darkness?" What? What is this? An Ozzy concert? PLEASE.
I am totally done with Catholicism. After gaining the Gnostic viewpoint, nothing seems so ridiculous as Catholicism.
Well anyway, the official reception for the Confirmation is tomorrow afternoon. We've got a lot to do today but for now I am doing nothing. I wanted to go to the ROM today, but Mom isn't going to work. I wanted to go to Hall today, but there's too much to do. I don't have much vacation this summer because I start work either next week or the week after, but it seems that most of it isn't going to be spent on myself. *Sigh*
What else? Today's one year since Peter left. I don't really know how I feel about that but something hurts. I do miss him. And I miss us. I wish things hadn't fallen apart, but I'm too scared to take the chance I've been given to put them back together.
Ah well. Such is life. I need to stop moping about it at some point. Not that I have much chance to with Anna spazzing now that Chris has gone. I understand how she's feeling but she often makes it seem like she is the only person who has ever gone through/ will ever go through such a thing. And I don't think her going to England in September is the best idea. But she can be very determined, so if she really wants to then she will.
Now I'm in a bad mood. Hahaha.
Might go shower now. Or watch the Rammstein DVD I illegally downloaded. Or watch the Tudors. Not sure yet really.
I like that song.
Anyway, HELLO! It is Friday.
My brain's weird today. Life is just completely bowled over since I am now finished first year and I am, therefore, at home, and not at York.
Wednesday's Latin exam went really well. I think. I finished it in 40 minutes, and the 3% bonus was to translate the first two lines of Catullus 5. Fingers crossed for an A+? I also got my Horace assignment back and I got a 90 on that so, yay.
Result of being finished: drowned myself in season 3 of the Tudors Wednesday evening. I also got a haircut.
Yesterday was Emi's Confirmation so we were very busy cooking and baking for when people came over after the church thing. Everything went alright and it was very nice, but I realized how much I really hated Catholicism while we were actually at the church.
First off, I hadn't been to that parish since my own Confirmation about five years ago. Secondly, the new priest? I thought he was alright the one time I saw him at Hall (you know, that one time I actually didn't skip liturgy in Grade 12), but yesterday evening I realized how much I really don't like him. He is so gimmicky. Even the music grated on my nerves. It was too upbeat and poppy.
I get what they're doing. Church is losing followers, so they're trying to make it "fun". That's LAME. Lame lame lame. Be real. Be fucking real. From an objective perspective, the archaism is what can make the Catholic Church beautiful. Poppy Alleluias? Fuck you. That's not beautiful. It's not going to stir passion in anyone. Hymns can make ME cry when sung PROPERLY.
So much of it is bullshit. And Father Larry getting mad at people for not singing. Ridiculous. The grim faces of the men handing around the collection baskets, looking so intimidating. Oh yes, and, "Do you reject Satan, Prince of Darkness?" What? What is this? An Ozzy concert? PLEASE.
I am totally done with Catholicism. After gaining the Gnostic viewpoint, nothing seems so ridiculous as Catholicism.
Well anyway, the official reception for the Confirmation is tomorrow afternoon. We've got a lot to do today but for now I am doing nothing. I wanted to go to the ROM today, but Mom isn't going to work. I wanted to go to Hall today, but there's too much to do. I don't have much vacation this summer because I start work either next week or the week after, but it seems that most of it isn't going to be spent on myself. *Sigh*
What else? Today's one year since Peter left. I don't really know how I feel about that but something hurts. I do miss him. And I miss us. I wish things hadn't fallen apart, but I'm too scared to take the chance I've been given to put them back together.
Ah well. Such is life. I need to stop moping about it at some point. Not that I have much chance to with Anna spazzing now that Chris has gone. I understand how she's feeling but she often makes it seem like she is the only person who has ever gone through/ will ever go through such a thing. And I don't think her going to England in September is the best idea. But she can be very determined, so if she really wants to then she will.
Now I'm in a bad mood. Hahaha.
Might go shower now. Or watch the Rammstein DVD I illegally downloaded. Or watch the Tudors. Not sure yet really.
24 May 2009
Rape
Yes, rape.
It was committed today from 12-2:35 p.m. at York University in the Tait McKenzie Fieldhouse.
I was the rapist. My history exam was the victim.
YESSSSS.
Music hall essay? 86%!
One sad thing - Colin wasn't there. So I didn't see him at all! The last time I saw him was last Tuesday and I didn't even know it'd be the last time. :(
BUT... I am forever free of History 1050 and I therefore must rejoice.
Er... by watching the Tudors.
Yeah, I've got no friends.
It was committed today from 12-2:35 p.m. at York University in the Tait McKenzie Fieldhouse.
I was the rapist. My history exam was the victim.
YESSSSS.
Music hall essay? 86%!
One sad thing - Colin wasn't there. So I didn't see him at all! The last time I saw him was last Tuesday and I didn't even know it'd be the last time. :(
BUT... I am forever free of History 1050 and I therefore must rejoice.
Er... by watching the Tudors.
Yeah, I've got no friends.
23 May 2009
JRM, WTF, LOL
Wow, it's been ages since I've updated?
Okay. Erm.
Classes are over. Obv. Wednesday was a Latin test that I didn't study for, but somehow managed an 85%. Also wrote my final Myth test - not sure about that one as it was a little tricky! Perhaps I pulled off an 80 or something.
Today was the Greek exam. It was awful. Mostly participles. Everyone was freaking out. I'm trying to put that behind me though. There's nothing I can do about it now.
Tomorrow is the 1050 exam. Terrifying. I'm taking a break now though. Problem with this one is that it's not like Latin and Greek - there's no actual MEMORIZING. I already know everything I need to know and it'll just be a matter of recollection.
I'm watching the Tudors right now. I have probably watched this one sex scene between Anne and Henry like six times now because it's very sexy in a femdom sort of way. Yes. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers getting smacked, scratched, strangled, and pinned down. If I could have a wet dream, this would be it.
Speaking of mansubs, Peter is single as of Sunday evening when Xandros threw Anastassia out of the house after she spazzed at Pete and called him a freak after he finally told her he was a masochist. What a closed-minded bitch. Sucks that Patrizia got mad at Xandraki about it since Stassia's her best friend, but she totally deserved that. I'm glad Peter stood up for himself too. Apparently Xandros only woke up because Peter was giving Stassia quite an earful at 3 a.m. Bet she thought all mansubs were wimps, hahaha. LIES. So, yeah. I'm not really sure what's going on between him and I now but there's a weird sort of tension that reminds me of before we got together.
It's a good thing he is not here right now, because I would probably be having a lot of hot angry hurty make-up sex with him à la Natalie Dormer and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers instead of studying for my exams. Hardyharhar.
... it's not my fault he's pretty.
Okay. Erm.
Classes are over. Obv. Wednesday was a Latin test that I didn't study for, but somehow managed an 85%. Also wrote my final Myth test - not sure about that one as it was a little tricky! Perhaps I pulled off an 80 or something.
Today was the Greek exam. It was awful. Mostly participles. Everyone was freaking out. I'm trying to put that behind me though. There's nothing I can do about it now.
Tomorrow is the 1050 exam. Terrifying. I'm taking a break now though. Problem with this one is that it's not like Latin and Greek - there's no actual MEMORIZING. I already know everything I need to know and it'll just be a matter of recollection.
I'm watching the Tudors right now. I have probably watched this one sex scene between Anne and Henry like six times now because it's very sexy in a femdom sort of way. Yes. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers getting smacked, scratched, strangled, and pinned down. If I could have a wet dream, this would be it.
Speaking of mansubs, Peter is single as of Sunday evening when Xandros threw Anastassia out of the house after she spazzed at Pete and called him a freak after he finally told her he was a masochist. What a closed-minded bitch. Sucks that Patrizia got mad at Xandraki about it since Stassia's her best friend, but she totally deserved that. I'm glad Peter stood up for himself too. Apparently Xandros only woke up because Peter was giving Stassia quite an earful at 3 a.m. Bet she thought all mansubs were wimps, hahaha. LIES. So, yeah. I'm not really sure what's going on between him and I now but there's a weird sort of tension that reminds me of before we got together.
It's a good thing he is not here right now, because I would probably be having a lot of hot angry hurty make-up sex with him à la Natalie Dormer and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers instead of studying for my exams. Hardyharhar.
... it's not my fault he's pretty.
14 May 2009
Fucking Emo Boys, and fucking emo boys
What a fucking miserable fucking day. This weather's awful. Ugh. And I was wearing capris yesterday!
Update on my life: It sucks.
Haha no, I lie. Let's think. Last time I updated was last Thursday? Alright.
Friday I went to Anna's because Chris left and she is now a foreign widow as I like to call us. You know, when you're ditched by your lover because they're foreign and need to go back home. Like Aeneas and Dido, but without the suicide.
Saturday and Sunday was work work work. Saturday was busy. Sunday was not - I didn't make a sub until four and a half hours into my shift. Hahaha.
I managed to finish the music hall essay over the weekend. Finished it at midnight on Sunday evening, actually... had been working on it from Friday evening, with breaks to go to work obviously. I was so relieved. Not only am I DONE all my papers, but Surtees decided not to give us anymore quizzes or assignments.
So what do I have left? Finishing up Latin and Greek lessons, doing flash cards, a Latin test Wednesday, and a myth test on Thyestes also on Wednesday. Which is really not so bad at all!
Then exams... I am frightened. Just for 1050, really. Three-hour behemoth of an exam. I just want a 70 in that course really. A 70 will make me happy.
This weekend is my last weekend of work at Subway. Huzzah. Except that Susy hasn't gotten back to me in a while about the job in the SAS. I'll perhaps send her an email tomorrow.
I have a chai latte, because I am very sad today. Yesterday I was just very hateful but today is sad. I feel pathetic and fat and ugly and am shocked I haven't gained any weight in the last three months considering all the stress-eating I've been doing. Earlier this week I ate a fucking POP TART. Scratch that, two of them. Ugh. AND I had Chinese food yesterday for really no reason at all. Like, why?
Well, I know why. Peter issues, obviously. I don't know how things are working out. They seem fine now, actually. He got accepted to university Tuesday and he called me before he called anyone else. I wonder what that means? I even helped him pick his courses, which are super spiffy. I miss him though. He's in Halkidiki with Xandros and Patrizia and, yes, his new girlfriend. I'm not sure how I feel about that. He said he's going to be, you know, "honest" with her. What does THAT mean? Is he going to tell he's a masochist? I'm sure that will go over well.
He should just lie and have one of those Normal lives.
So I have a chai latte from Second Cup but even that's annoying because the guy who looks like Peter was working today and I thought that was pretty funny when I was still with Peter, but now that I'm not it's not funny to see him at all. It is just sad. You could tell he was tired and he even got all squinty the same way Peter does when he's been up for a few days. Fuck my life. But the chai lattes are so worth it.
Lost was on last night. Season finale. So freaking epic, and Sayid didn't die. I am happy. Ish. At least about that.
This Week (yes, Week) started out being rather frustrating. Now it is just miserable.
I got a thong in the mail. As part of my birthday gift from the Koufises. I am slightly disturbed. Mom said, "Maybe Aunt Adrie thinks you're at the age when you should start wearing them." Ha! I'd rather go commando. Anyway what's the use of having nice underwear when no one will see them? My sex life will be the Sahara desert from now til forever.
Really a pity, because Peter's hair must be getting longer now, AND he has his nipples pierced. And is probably getting all nice and tanned as I type this.
Thanks, life. Thanks a lot.
07 May 2009
Twilight omens in my life
Wow. It's only been a week and I'm updating again. Am I getting better at this? Yes, yes I am.
So. Um. Let me think. What's been up? Who knows.
I quit my job last Saturday. Indeed. Even though Ray is not here. I told Aruna flat-out. My last day is May 17th. And I swear, Saturday really solidified my decision to leave. Not only was the story kind of messy in an annoying way, but we had to make three large sub platters for 1:30. That's 21 freaking subs. I had to make three whole sets of bread that morning! Scary moment Sunday morning though... totally forgot to turn the chiller on for the meat counter? O_O Luckily everything was still at temp and I managed to get it working as usual. Oof, scary moment!!!
Also, I finished the Aeneid essay over the weekend. Worked on it Saturday and Sunday evenings. Put my final touches on it yesterday.
Monday was beautiful and fantastic. I don't remember much about the actual day but after class I didn't go home. Aunt Mary picked me up and we went out to the Happy Greek for dinner, which was nice. I love Aunt Mary because she's wicked awesome. Then we went down to Kool Haus for the Franz Ferdinand concert! I gots myself a tshirt, rawr. And the show was just... ah. Ah. Ah.
It was amazing.
I haven't been to many concerts, but that was the best. They are SO good live. They sound exactly the way they do on their albums. Maybe even better, because it's so... RAW. You could hear the emotion in Alex's voice during some of the songs. It was just a really great stress reliever. It was so relaxed, everyone was just dancing... This Fire was the final song of the encore and the energy was incredible. EVERYONE was dancing. It was just a stupendous evening. I'm so glad I went. I took videos too, because Emi is in Ottawa with school so he couldn't come. My videos are alright, but I did find some footage taken by other people who were at the concert and theirs are fantastic. So I can relive that night again and again :D
This week has been a little crazy. Handed in the Latin paper, had a Latin test, had a Greek quiz Monday (which I managed to do well on even though I barely studied), weekly Greek assignment, and trying to finish the reading for this essay on British music halls. It's the last essay of the year, and it's due Tuesday. I finished my reading/ research only last night. I JUST came up with a thesis and outline a few minutes ago. Eek. I'm going to have to buckle down and write this thing.
I am really worried about 1050 in general. I am so unsure of this course and of the exam. I wanted a B+ at the end of the year, but I'm not sure I can manage that. I'm at an A now. Well, if I get A+ in both Latin and Greek (for which I am on pace) and an A in 1105 (for which I am also on pace), then a B in HIST 1050 will still keep me at an 8.0 GPA. Obviously I don't actually NEED to be at the 8.0. But I want to be. I want an A average in my first year of university. And, yes, I want that $2000 scholarship again.
So obviously tonight I should work on my essay. But I don't know if I can. This has not been a good week in terms of things to do with Pete. We've been at each other's throats and it's killing me. I've sunk back into that sort of emotionless state I was at before Peter came around. It feels really nice sometimes. To not care. So free. But then I realize that I still love him and it's just not okay. And I wonder, what happened? Last summer our relationship was so chill. I wish we could go back to that. It was in September when everything started to get so dramatic.
It's too late now though.
It bothers me.
We fought over the phone today. Badly. We didn't get anywhere. No progress. But do we even have a goal? What is the goal? What do I want? What does he want?
He wanted to get back together. I was hesitant. I thought I loved someone else. This week, I realized I didn't. But now Peter's got that girlfriend of his, yet I have no idea how he actually feels about her. He complains about her. Should I pity this girl? Because, I do.
I just didn't know what "getting back together" would mean. I still don't know.
It's hard to deal with everything all at once.
On top of this, Chris is leaving tomorrow or Saturday or something, so Anna's going to be a wreck, and she wants consolation. But I am in no state to give anyone consolation. What am I going to say to her? That I know how it feels? Well, first off she won't believe me because she's like that and thinks she's all alone in every human experience even if it's a common one. Secondly, even if she does believe me, what do I say after that? "Yeah, I know how it feels to have to say goodbye to someone you love and watch your relationship disintegrate into something so inconceivably ugly that you could have never imagined things could turn out that way."
I can't do emotion. And I'm almost offended that she'd ask me to at this point.
So. Um. Let me think. What's been up? Who knows.
I quit my job last Saturday. Indeed. Even though Ray is not here. I told Aruna flat-out. My last day is May 17th. And I swear, Saturday really solidified my decision to leave. Not only was the story kind of messy in an annoying way, but we had to make three large sub platters for 1:30. That's 21 freaking subs. I had to make three whole sets of bread that morning! Scary moment Sunday morning though... totally forgot to turn the chiller on for the meat counter? O_O Luckily everything was still at temp and I managed to get it working as usual. Oof, scary moment!!!
Also, I finished the Aeneid essay over the weekend. Worked on it Saturday and Sunday evenings. Put my final touches on it yesterday.
Monday was beautiful and fantastic. I don't remember much about the actual day but after class I didn't go home. Aunt Mary picked me up and we went out to the Happy Greek for dinner, which was nice. I love Aunt Mary because she's wicked awesome. Then we went down to Kool Haus for the Franz Ferdinand concert! I gots myself a tshirt, rawr. And the show was just... ah. Ah. Ah.
It was amazing.
I haven't been to many concerts, but that was the best. They are SO good live. They sound exactly the way they do on their albums. Maybe even better, because it's so... RAW. You could hear the emotion in Alex's voice during some of the songs. It was just a really great stress reliever. It was so relaxed, everyone was just dancing... This Fire was the final song of the encore and the energy was incredible. EVERYONE was dancing. It was just a stupendous evening. I'm so glad I went. I took videos too, because Emi is in Ottawa with school so he couldn't come. My videos are alright, but I did find some footage taken by other people who were at the concert and theirs are fantastic. So I can relive that night again and again :D
This week has been a little crazy. Handed in the Latin paper, had a Latin test, had a Greek quiz Monday (which I managed to do well on even though I barely studied), weekly Greek assignment, and trying to finish the reading for this essay on British music halls. It's the last essay of the year, and it's due Tuesday. I finished my reading/ research only last night. I JUST came up with a thesis and outline a few minutes ago. Eek. I'm going to have to buckle down and write this thing.
I am really worried about 1050 in general. I am so unsure of this course and of the exam. I wanted a B+ at the end of the year, but I'm not sure I can manage that. I'm at an A now. Well, if I get A+ in both Latin and Greek (for which I am on pace) and an A in 1105 (for which I am also on pace), then a B in HIST 1050 will still keep me at an 8.0 GPA. Obviously I don't actually NEED to be at the 8.0. But I want to be. I want an A average in my first year of university. And, yes, I want that $2000 scholarship again.
So obviously tonight I should work on my essay. But I don't know if I can. This has not been a good week in terms of things to do with Pete. We've been at each other's throats and it's killing me. I've sunk back into that sort of emotionless state I was at before Peter came around. It feels really nice sometimes. To not care. So free. But then I realize that I still love him and it's just not okay. And I wonder, what happened? Last summer our relationship was so chill. I wish we could go back to that. It was in September when everything started to get so dramatic.
It's too late now though.
It bothers me.
We fought over the phone today. Badly. We didn't get anywhere. No progress. But do we even have a goal? What is the goal? What do I want? What does he want?
He wanted to get back together. I was hesitant. I thought I loved someone else. This week, I realized I didn't. But now Peter's got that girlfriend of his, yet I have no idea how he actually feels about her. He complains about her. Should I pity this girl? Because, I do.
I just didn't know what "getting back together" would mean. I still don't know.
It's hard to deal with everything all at once.
On top of this, Chris is leaving tomorrow or Saturday or something, so Anna's going to be a wreck, and she wants consolation. But I am in no state to give anyone consolation. What am I going to say to her? That I know how it feels? Well, first off she won't believe me because she's like that and thinks she's all alone in every human experience even if it's a common one. Secondly, even if she does believe me, what do I say after that? "Yeah, I know how it feels to have to say goodbye to someone you love and watch your relationship disintegrate into something so inconceivably ugly that you could have never imagined things could turn out that way."
I can't do emotion. And I'm almost offended that she'd ask me to at this point.
30 April 2009
False Prophecies
So. I thought I was going to be okay, you know.
Like, I finished the damn Latin paper way early.
I am so not okay. I am swamped. It's ridic.
Also, I seem to have some sort of repetiive strain injury in my right hand. I'm on Tylenol now... one thing after the other! I'd just gotten over the wisdom tooth pain!
Speaking of which, the procedure went alright. Didn't hurt too much. Was awake on Novocaine for the whole thing. I thought it was pretty awesome. I even looked the process up on YouTube later. It's funny that I could feel Dr. Gelfand doing things to my gums but couldn't feel the pain. Also, he's sexy. I just haven't really been able to eat properly since Saturday morning haha. I've been swallowing most of my food whole. Chewing with front teeth is not very effective. At least I have jaw mobility back... earlier in the week I couldn't smile or laugh or talk very well.
Um, Friday I was offered that job in the Faculty of Science at Science Academic Services. Yay. I have to quit Subway this weekend though. Kind of nervous. They're going to spaz for sure because Ray's in India but it's so not my problem anymore. I'm giving my two weeks' notice and that's it.
Monday was a fantastic day. I was outside for five hours with a variety of people... Viki, Reinard, Rita, Andrew, David, and Laura all showed up at some point but Mike and I were there the whole time. We got sunburned haha.
My brain is so jumbly today?
Lost was fantastic last night. But Faraday! *cries*
I've been an emotional mess lately. Things with Peter are not very good, but when were they good? I don't know, he went on that day on Friday with Anastassia and had crappy sex because he's a fucking masochist and she is obviously not a sadist. So he's all frustrated and stuff but he's still seeing her, which I don't understand. He's ranting to me about how terrible it was and how he doesn't think he can have a relationship with her but he's putting on this facade. It's ridiculous. He should just be honest with her, but I guess it's hard. BDSM can get really complicated. I think I'm already fed up of dealing with it. Like, can I give up now? I'll just never have sex again, honest. I'll abstain from all whippy floggy chokey hurty things for the rest of my life!
I'm hungry. Ugh.
I slept four hours last night. I could have gotten four and a half hours of sleep but I had something that required immediate attention after I'd packed up my books. Okay, so it wasn't that important but I was frustrated.
We are all frustrated.
Sexually.
Yeah. Four months and four days. Okay, okay. I am fine. Not. Not fine. MUST REPRESS ALL HUMAN NEEDS!!!!
There's a really attractive guy darting about my life giving me this sort of false hope thing. But I don't know if it's false. But I don't get it and my brain is being very high school about it. And things are really really weird lately. Like, different. He's acting DIFFERENT. And there are moments that are tense and awkward and I'm not sure why but I know it's not me doing anything that's making things like this.
I don't know. I don't know.
All I know is that I really want him on so many levels all at once. Mainly intellectually and emotionally, actually.
I rambled a lot about a lot of bad things...
Like, I finished the damn Latin paper way early.
I am so not okay. I am swamped. It's ridic.
Also, I seem to have some sort of repetiive strain injury in my right hand. I'm on Tylenol now... one thing after the other! I'd just gotten over the wisdom tooth pain!
Speaking of which, the procedure went alright. Didn't hurt too much. Was awake on Novocaine for the whole thing. I thought it was pretty awesome. I even looked the process up on YouTube later. It's funny that I could feel Dr. Gelfand doing things to my gums but couldn't feel the pain. Also, he's sexy. I just haven't really been able to eat properly since Saturday morning haha. I've been swallowing most of my food whole. Chewing with front teeth is not very effective. At least I have jaw mobility back... earlier in the week I couldn't smile or laugh or talk very well.
Um, Friday I was offered that job in the Faculty of Science at Science Academic Services. Yay. I have to quit Subway this weekend though. Kind of nervous. They're going to spaz for sure because Ray's in India but it's so not my problem anymore. I'm giving my two weeks' notice and that's it.
Monday was a fantastic day. I was outside for five hours with a variety of people... Viki, Reinard, Rita, Andrew, David, and Laura all showed up at some point but Mike and I were there the whole time. We got sunburned haha.
My brain is so jumbly today?
Lost was fantastic last night. But Faraday! *cries*
I've been an emotional mess lately. Things with Peter are not very good, but when were they good? I don't know, he went on that day on Friday with Anastassia and had crappy sex because he's a fucking masochist and she is obviously not a sadist. So he's all frustrated and stuff but he's still seeing her, which I don't understand. He's ranting to me about how terrible it was and how he doesn't think he can have a relationship with her but he's putting on this facade. It's ridiculous. He should just be honest with her, but I guess it's hard. BDSM can get really complicated. I think I'm already fed up of dealing with it. Like, can I give up now? I'll just never have sex again, honest. I'll abstain from all whippy floggy chokey hurty things for the rest of my life!
I'm hungry. Ugh.
I slept four hours last night. I could have gotten four and a half hours of sleep but I had something that required immediate attention after I'd packed up my books. Okay, so it wasn't that important but I was frustrated.
We are all frustrated.
Sexually.
Yeah. Four months and four days. Okay, okay. I am fine. Not. Not fine. MUST REPRESS ALL HUMAN NEEDS!!!!
There's a really attractive guy darting about my life giving me this sort of false hope thing. But I don't know if it's false. But I don't get it and my brain is being very high school about it. And things are really really weird lately. Like, different. He's acting DIFFERENT. And there are moments that are tense and awkward and I'm not sure why but I know it's not me doing anything that's making things like this.
I don't know. I don't know.
All I know is that I really want him on so many levels all at once. Mainly intellectually and emotionally, actually.
I rambled a lot about a lot of bad things...
23 April 2009
Mit dir bin ich auch allein
What a semi-lovely day.
I got to sleep in for an extra hour. Well, that was because of a funeral that Mom and Dad went to, but it's still a good thing.
Pan and Hari and Georgie came to visit me for a bit. It was good to see them.
Lecture was alright... I like McPherson's lectures.
I feel very alone though. And so angry about so many things.
This negative energy has its highs and lows. At times it makes me uber productive. At other times, it makes me want to lie down on the floor, glassy-eyed, Marpesian marbled, angry at the Moirai.
The latter, though? Not in my best interests.
I really need a de-stressing session.
I got to sleep in for an extra hour. Well, that was because of a funeral that Mom and Dad went to, but it's still a good thing.
Pan and Hari and Georgie came to visit me for a bit. It was good to see them.
Lecture was alright... I like McPherson's lectures.
I feel very alone though. And so angry about so many things.
This negative energy has its highs and lows. At times it makes me uber productive. At other times, it makes me want to lie down on the floor, glassy-eyed, Marpesian marbled, angry at the Moirai.
The latter, though? Not in my best interests.
I really need a de-stressing session.
21 April 2009
P.S. Fuck my life
Exam schedule just came out a few minutes ago.
Here's mine.
AS/GK 1000 6.0
Saturday 23 May 2009, 8:30-10:30
Steadman Lecture Hall E
AS/LA 1000 6.0
Wednesday 27 May 2009, 12:00 - 2:00
Steadman Lecture Hall E
AS/HIST 1050 6.0
Sunday 24 May 2009, 12:00 - 3:00
Tait Mackenzie Student Fieldhouse East
Yep. Yep. That's right. Not ONLY do I have an exam at 8:fucking30 on a Saturday morning in STEADMAN LECTURE HALL (DEATHHHH), but I have an exam the NEXT DAY at NOON which gives me BARELY ANY TIME TO STUDY.
Then Latin on the 27th which isn't so bad.
There's one listed for Myth though, which is lame because we shouldn't have an exam for that course. I just emailed Fisher about it.
Also, why is the history one three-hours long? AND WHY IS IT IN TAIT? Kill meeeeee.
Here's mine.
AS/GK 1000 6.0
Saturday 23 May 2009, 8:30-10:30
Steadman Lecture Hall E
AS/LA 1000 6.0
Wednesday 27 May 2009, 12:00 - 2:00
Steadman Lecture Hall E
AS/HIST 1050 6.0
Sunday 24 May 2009, 12:00 - 3:00
Tait Mackenzie Student Fieldhouse East
Yep. Yep. That's right. Not ONLY do I have an exam at 8:fucking30 on a Saturday morning in STEADMAN LECTURE HALL (DEATHHHH), but I have an exam the NEXT DAY at NOON which gives me BARELY ANY TIME TO STUDY.
Then Latin on the 27th which isn't so bad.
There's one listed for Myth though, which is lame because we shouldn't have an exam for that course. I just emailed Fisher about it.
Also, why is the history one three-hours long? AND WHY IS IT IN TAIT? Kill meeeeee.
This is going to be a bad week.
I know this because Tyler knows this.
Haha I kid.
It's not going to be very nice though.
Getting my wisdom teeth out.
Getting my period.
Zio Amarino died yesterday.
My favourite jeans are tight.
I failed yesterday's Greek quiz.
Peter and I got into a massive fight last night.
I'm in love.
The weather fucking sucks.
I have too much reading to do for history.
I don't have a summer job yet.
Latin is becoming incomprehensible.
Alterna's bank machine is not working so I cannot deposit my paycheque or withdraw money, which I need to eat lunch, and also to pay for a fucking chai latte because I fucking want one. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck.
I need therapy.
Or a hug.
Or someone to torture with some nice hurty things for an hour or so.
This sucks mostly because last week was so excellent. Weather was beautiful, I finished the Aeneid, finished the Latin paper, no Latin class Wednesday, no Greek class Friday, skipped Wednesday's myth lecture because of a guest speaker and just enjoyed my friends, Lost was wicked cool, I slept a bit more than usual (except for Wednesday, I was up til 2 a.m. that night which was uber fun).
There are I think five weeks left of classes, and then exams (speaking of which, the schedule is up today, thanks for reminding me... yes, I just thanked myself). I can't wait til this is over. It was a good year, sure, but tumultuous. Really fucked up. Between all the emotional crap and the fucking strike, I am getting a little annoyed by now. It's hard to still have such a long way to go when some people are actually already DONE.
...then I will do it all over again starting June 8. Tralala summer school. At least it's just one course.
Also I figure it's worth mentioning that Peter wrote his exams last week and probably got into A.U.Th. Good for him. He wanted me to help pick his courses. I spent a lot of time trying to understand the Greek university system just to help him out but now that probably does really mean shit all.
:)
Bright sunshiney day. NOT.
Fuck you.
Haha I kid.
It's not going to be very nice though.
Getting my wisdom teeth out.
Getting my period.
Zio Amarino died yesterday.
My favourite jeans are tight.
I failed yesterday's Greek quiz.
Peter and I got into a massive fight last night.
I'm in love.
The weather fucking sucks.
I have too much reading to do for history.
I don't have a summer job yet.
Latin is becoming incomprehensible.
Alterna's bank machine is not working so I cannot deposit my paycheque or withdraw money, which I need to eat lunch, and also to pay for a fucking chai latte because I fucking want one. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck.
I need therapy.
Or a hug.
Or someone to torture with some nice hurty things for an hour or so.
This sucks mostly because last week was so excellent. Weather was beautiful, I finished the Aeneid, finished the Latin paper, no Latin class Wednesday, no Greek class Friday, skipped Wednesday's myth lecture because of a guest speaker and just enjoyed my friends, Lost was wicked cool, I slept a bit more than usual (except for Wednesday, I was up til 2 a.m. that night which was uber fun).
There are I think five weeks left of classes, and then exams (speaking of which, the schedule is up today, thanks for reminding me... yes, I just thanked myself). I can't wait til this is over. It was a good year, sure, but tumultuous. Really fucked up. Between all the emotional crap and the fucking strike, I am getting a little annoyed by now. It's hard to still have such a long way to go when some people are actually already DONE.
...then I will do it all over again starting June 8. Tralala summer school. At least it's just one course.
Also I figure it's worth mentioning that Peter wrote his exams last week and probably got into A.U.Th. Good for him. He wanted me to help pick his courses. I spent a lot of time trying to understand the Greek university system just to help him out but now that probably does really mean shit all.
:)
Bright sunshiney day. NOT.
Fuck you.
06 April 2009
Down to the wire...
... for the next month and a half.
Insanely busy. It is too much.
But things are well. On the 27th I hung out with my true loves, got drunk, and had a fab time at Rocky. That was a good weekend because I got money from my extended fam :D
Saw Justin on Saturday :D He came by at around 8, left at a quarter to midnight.
Have a lot to do now though. Just posting to confirm aliveness.
Also, I am on Twitter these days, which I update way more often.
www.twitter.com/jjjjeah
Insanely busy. It is too much.
But things are well. On the 27th I hung out with my true loves, got drunk, and had a fab time at Rocky. That was a good weekend because I got money from my extended fam :D
Saw Justin on Saturday :D He came by at around 8, left at a quarter to midnight.
Have a lot to do now though. Just posting to confirm aliveness.
Also, I am on Twitter these days, which I update way more often.
www.twitter.com/jjjjeah
26 March 2009
I'm actually not dead
Just piled with work. But I am alive and kicking! And in the Student Centre (which is currently being decorated for York's birthday) with a chai latte. Rawr.
So. Things. Last Monday was my birthday! I got the iPod clock radio I had been planning to buy. Thanks parents! It's actually gorgeous, I effing love it. It functions as an excellent stereo as well so it's totally wicked. Emi bought me some orgasmic body spray too - lime coconut and mango mandarin. We went out for dinner at Kelsey's that night and I had a lime daiquiri. The lovely and nice waiter brought me molten lava cake that was fresh baked and delicious despite the fact that I hate chocolate. Dio also sang me happy birthday that day. And was all hippy and asked me to drink his blood. I can't remember the circumstances, just that I love him!
Last Tuesday I was assigned a mammoth 20% essay by my dear Colin, who stops being dear when he piles on the work. However the topics were really interesting. I'm doing mine on British Music Hall. I have books and excellent articles. Might do well on it. I hope so!
Got my Iliad paper back last Wednesday. Got an A? Yes I did. Go me! I was ecstatic.
I understand Latin lately. Except that I have to start learning the fourth principal part. Argh. Lucius, tuus pater sum! Yes, I just said Luke I am your father in Latin. Anyway, we had a test Monday, on which I received a 95. Niceh niceh. My lowest so far is an 87.
I understand Greek contract verbs now. But froze during the quiz on Monday. I don't think I did very well on it but the important thing is that I get it now. The Greek third declension? No so much. I'm working on it though.
I don't know what else to say. I worked last weekend? It was an alright weekend but I was exhausted as I was up til 11 doing work Friday.
This weekend will be crazy. Schedule:
- Tomorrow night = Rocky Horror @ the Bloor with Anna, Edie, Jared, and Chris. This will involve drinking.
- Saturday morning (FUCKING EARLY) = getting picked up by Dad
- Saturday evening = fucktard family coming over for mine and Emi's birthday
- Sunday morning = work bright and early at 8 a.m.
- Sunday afternoon/ evening = going to see Christina for her 25th
- Sunday night = passed out dead from lack of oxygen and/or sleep
As you can see, I am booked booked booked. People don't believe me when they say I have no time. Therefore I have been attempting to get more homework done during this week.
Actually, right now I should be either reading Antigone or working on the Latin paper on Horace which is due May 4th. Eh. Everyone needs a break? Well, I don't have class til 11:30 today and then it's just for an hour so I should be alright.
What else? I can't remember everything, but the nub and gist of what should come next is that I fucking love my friends.
So. Things. Last Monday was my birthday! I got the iPod clock radio I had been planning to buy. Thanks parents! It's actually gorgeous, I effing love it. It functions as an excellent stereo as well so it's totally wicked. Emi bought me some orgasmic body spray too - lime coconut and mango mandarin. We went out for dinner at Kelsey's that night and I had a lime daiquiri. The lovely and nice waiter brought me molten lava cake that was fresh baked and delicious despite the fact that I hate chocolate. Dio also sang me happy birthday that day. And was all hippy and asked me to drink his blood. I can't remember the circumstances, just that I love him!
Last Tuesday I was assigned a mammoth 20% essay by my dear Colin, who stops being dear when he piles on the work. However the topics were really interesting. I'm doing mine on British Music Hall. I have books and excellent articles. Might do well on it. I hope so!
Got my Iliad paper back last Wednesday. Got an A? Yes I did. Go me! I was ecstatic.
I understand Latin lately. Except that I have to start learning the fourth principal part. Argh. Lucius, tuus pater sum! Yes, I just said Luke I am your father in Latin. Anyway, we had a test Monday, on which I received a 95. Niceh niceh. My lowest so far is an 87.
I understand Greek contract verbs now. But froze during the quiz on Monday. I don't think I did very well on it but the important thing is that I get it now. The Greek third declension? No so much. I'm working on it though.
I don't know what else to say. I worked last weekend? It was an alright weekend but I was exhausted as I was up til 11 doing work Friday.
This weekend will be crazy. Schedule:
- Tomorrow night = Rocky Horror @ the Bloor with Anna, Edie, Jared, and Chris. This will involve drinking.
- Saturday morning (FUCKING EARLY) = getting picked up by Dad
- Saturday evening = fucktard family coming over for mine and Emi's birthday
- Sunday morning = work bright and early at 8 a.m.
- Sunday afternoon/ evening = going to see Christina for her 25th
- Sunday night = passed out dead from lack of oxygen and/or sleep
As you can see, I am booked booked booked. People don't believe me when they say I have no time. Therefore I have been attempting to get more homework done during this week.
Actually, right now I should be either reading Antigone or working on the Latin paper on Horace which is due May 4th. Eh. Everyone needs a break? Well, I don't have class til 11:30 today and then it's just for an hour so I should be alright.
What else? I can't remember everything, but the nub and gist of what should come next is that I fucking love my friends.
15 March 2009
Hopelessly, I'll love you endlessly
Things. Thingie things.
Things have been okay? I think.
School is school. Not much happened this week other than I probably bombed Thursday's 1050 midterm. *sigh* I love passive verbs in Latin though. Latin makes my heart sing.
Life is life? Talked to Peter Friday and loved him. Things seem to have calmed down with psycho girl but she's still a total bitch. But it's okay because she fails. In an epic way.
Yesterday was the ROM. Book of the Dead of Amen-em-hat. It was a fantastic time! I brought Emi along. We went for lunch at Jack Astor's. I love my Classics friends!!!!! Then on the way home, we passed by Mom and Dad's old houses, like when they were small. Like, when my grandparents immigrated here. I got goosebumps. I'd seen the houses in photos but it's weird to actually BE there. We even passed by the grocery store where Mom and Dad met. It was wicked.
I finished the Bakkhai really quickly. Why? Because it was amazing. Very amazing. Uber-amazing.
Studying for tomorrow's Greek quiz that I'm going to fail.
Tomorrow is my birthday? I'll be 19. Geezer!
Did I mention that I love my two Special Ones way too much? Probably.
Today is the Ides of March. R.I.P. Gaius Julius Caesar, probably one of the greatest leaders this world has ever seen.
"Bear with me; my heart is in the coffin there with Caesar, and I must pause till it come back to me."
Things have been okay? I think.
School is school. Not much happened this week other than I probably bombed Thursday's 1050 midterm. *sigh* I love passive verbs in Latin though. Latin makes my heart sing.
Life is life? Talked to Peter Friday and loved him. Things seem to have calmed down with psycho girl but she's still a total bitch. But it's okay because she fails. In an epic way.
Yesterday was the ROM. Book of the Dead of Amen-em-hat. It was a fantastic time! I brought Emi along. We went for lunch at Jack Astor's. I love my Classics friends!!!!! Then on the way home, we passed by Mom and Dad's old houses, like when they were small. Like, when my grandparents immigrated here. I got goosebumps. I'd seen the houses in photos but it's weird to actually BE there. We even passed by the grocery store where Mom and Dad met. It was wicked.
I finished the Bakkhai really quickly. Why? Because it was amazing. Very amazing. Uber-amazing.
Studying for tomorrow's Greek quiz that I'm going to fail.
Tomorrow is my birthday? I'll be 19. Geezer!
Did I mention that I love my two Special Ones way too much? Probably.
Today is the Ides of March. R.I.P. Gaius Julius Caesar, probably one of the greatest leaders this world has ever seen.
"Bear with me; my heart is in the coffin there with Caesar, and I must pause till it come back to me."
09 March 2009
Oops.
Love might lead me to the ER soon.
Not of my own doing. Just so y'all know.
However, after some hesitation and second thoughts and ideas of maybe letting this one slide, I have decided to just accept it.
First off, I could press charges.
Secondly... I think he might be worth it.
Not of my own doing. Just so y'all know.
However, after some hesitation and second thoughts and ideas of maybe letting this one slide, I have decided to just accept it.
First off, I could press charges.
Secondly... I think he might be worth it.
05 March 2009
Hahahaha, lifey lifey life!
I laugh.
Five hours of sleep.
Coffee and a muffin?
Is this poetry?
http://youmakemetouchyourhandsforstupidreasons.ytmnd.com/
The above is amazing.
I have to go to the drugstore today.
I am not getting enough work done but I have two hours.
My five-year plan is being demolished by 2110 and the fact that its time slot is a bitch and doesn't agree with my GK 2000 course. FUCK YOU! There is just not enough time to take all the courses I want.
An attractive Jew just walked by. I am feeling particularly Week-like because my monthly curse didn't visit this month. Therefore I would like to have sex with him.
I am in love with two beautiful things. Oops. It's their fault.
I am getting all weird because of the coffee and the aforementioned issues with my course plan. Fack mah laife. Mom was right when she told me not to plan so extensively but I needed to in order to maintain my sanity :)
Five hours of sleep.
Coffee and a muffin?
Is this poetry?
http://youmakemetouchyourhandsforstupidreasons.ytmnd.com/
The above is amazing.
I have to go to the drugstore today.
I am not getting enough work done but I have two hours.
My five-year plan is being demolished by 2110 and the fact that its time slot is a bitch and doesn't agree with my GK 2000 course. FUCK YOU! There is just not enough time to take all the courses I want.
An attractive Jew just walked by. I am feeling particularly Week-like because my monthly curse didn't visit this month. Therefore I would like to have sex with him.
I am in love with two beautiful things. Oops. It's their fault.
I am getting all weird because of the coffee and the aforementioned issues with my course plan. Fack mah laife. Mom was right when she told me not to plan so extensively but I needed to in order to maintain my sanity :)
04 March 2009
Chickachickayeee!
... as Dim would say.
Quick updat0rz? Well, I got my Latin and Greek exams back. 92.5% and 96% respectively. Yus! I got the A+s I wanted. I am only mildly pissed that all the mistakes I made were stupid ones. It's not that I didn't know things, but that I was careless. I was fully capable of getting perfect on both of them. Ah well.
Didn't get the Iliad essay back. However, Fisher specifically mentioned mine (and Petra's) in class as being brilliant so I am very happy and hopeful. A B+ is all I ask for!
Lost was great tonight but now I have so much work to catch up on. *sigh*
Job interview in the Faculty of Science Friday. Joy joy joy!
Almost my birthday. Oof.
I am so in love right now. Not with Peter. Well, with him too, but I am not really referring to him, if that makes sense. I don't know. Things are stirring. Let's see where this takes us, shall we? Life is fucked.
And I don't mind. :)
Polyamory is difficult though.
Quick updat0rz? Well, I got my Latin and Greek exams back. 92.5% and 96% respectively. Yus! I got the A+s I wanted. I am only mildly pissed that all the mistakes I made were stupid ones. It's not that I didn't know things, but that I was careless. I was fully capable of getting perfect on both of them. Ah well.
Didn't get the Iliad essay back. However, Fisher specifically mentioned mine (and Petra's) in class as being brilliant so I am very happy and hopeful. A B+ is all I ask for!
Lost was great tonight but now I have so much work to catch up on. *sigh*
Job interview in the Faculty of Science Friday. Joy joy joy!
Almost my birthday. Oof.
I am so in love right now. Not with Peter. Well, with him too, but I am not really referring to him, if that makes sense. I don't know. Things are stirring. Let's see where this takes us, shall we? Life is fucked.
And I don't mind. :)
Polyamory is difficult though.
03 March 2009
Seems that all I really was doing was waiting for you...
Oh, contentment.
Seven hours of studying happily resulted in my slaying of the easy peasy four pages that was my Latin exam in about half an hour. Despite a fire alarm in CLH at about 3:25, we managed to start it just twenty minutes later without much hassle.
Went to Anna's. Had a great salad and laughed at the lunacy of her family. We decorated her wall with pages from NOW magazine and watched hilarious things on TV. Stayed up til 3 a.m. just talking about the randomest things in that sort of delirious mode that my body sets itself to when I'm awake for 21 hours.
Woke up at 8:30ish this morning and headed downtown for her physics lecture. We ate lemon cranberry muffins. Her prof is funny and small. Then we dashed to Queen and Come As You Are and I bought a rubber flogger that hurt like a bitch and saw all the hurty things that made me lovelovelove Peter, mein liebchen, which I have been doing more since we have made our relationship less mad. More on that later. Anyway, then we got lemon crêpes to go from Our Place and I loved life a lot and we got back in time and no trouble from parents because they didn't find out I was lying. It was just a good day.
And I lovelovelove Peter. I said that but I am saying it again. Things are fucked. We aren't 'together' the way we were between September and February. But we are 'together' in the way we were from October to August. And you know what? I prefer that. It's less serious. It's less pressure. I can be more appreciative. I don't automatically go from thinking PETER to thinking PROBLEM OMG I WILL NEVER SEE HIM. Obviously that's on my mind but it just does not bother me anymore. I can't really label what's going on. Am I single? Am I "taken" (or rather, have I taken someone? Because no one takes me, bitch)? I don't know, I can't answer that. He's got his Facebook bit set to "In an open relationship" again and it makes me really happy.
Maybe we can be Brian Kinney and Justin Taylor the way I always wanted. Once they had their outline in place, they became happy.
And shut the fuck up, world. I don't care what you say. I can be mad about Peter and mad about this other upstart bloke at the same time! Well I don't know if I'm mad about him... but sometimes he won't get out of my brain. I don't know where it's going to go but I would like to have a small something with him at least for a few minutes, just a few minutes of connection, you know?
But he's not Peter. No one is Peter. And I don't want anyone else to be Peter.
<3
I'm in love all over again. Shit.
Seven hours of studying happily resulted in my slaying of the easy peasy four pages that was my Latin exam in about half an hour. Despite a fire alarm in CLH at about 3:25, we managed to start it just twenty minutes later without much hassle.
Went to Anna's. Had a great salad and laughed at the lunacy of her family. We decorated her wall with pages from NOW magazine and watched hilarious things on TV. Stayed up til 3 a.m. just talking about the randomest things in that sort of delirious mode that my body sets itself to when I'm awake for 21 hours.
Woke up at 8:30ish this morning and headed downtown for her physics lecture. We ate lemon cranberry muffins. Her prof is funny and small. Then we dashed to Queen and Come As You Are and I bought a rubber flogger that hurt like a bitch and saw all the hurty things that made me lovelovelove Peter, mein liebchen, which I have been doing more since we have made our relationship less mad. More on that later. Anyway, then we got lemon crêpes to go from Our Place and I loved life a lot and we got back in time and no trouble from parents because they didn't find out I was lying. It was just a good day.
And I lovelovelove Peter. I said that but I am saying it again. Things are fucked. We aren't 'together' the way we were between September and February. But we are 'together' in the way we were from October to August. And you know what? I prefer that. It's less serious. It's less pressure. I can be more appreciative. I don't automatically go from thinking PETER to thinking PROBLEM OMG I WILL NEVER SEE HIM. Obviously that's on my mind but it just does not bother me anymore. I can't really label what's going on. Am I single? Am I "taken" (or rather, have I taken someone? Because no one takes me, bitch)? I don't know, I can't answer that. He's got his Facebook bit set to "In an open relationship" again and it makes me really happy.
Maybe we can be Brian Kinney and Justin Taylor the way I always wanted. Once they had their outline in place, they became happy.
And shut the fuck up, world. I don't care what you say. I can be mad about Peter and mad about this other upstart bloke at the same time! Well I don't know if I'm mad about him... but sometimes he won't get out of my brain. I don't know where it's going to go but I would like to have a small something with him at least for a few minutes, just a few minutes of connection, you know?
But he's not Peter. No one is Peter. And I don't want anyone else to be Peter.
<3
I'm in love all over again. Shit.
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