False Prophecies

So. I thought I was going to be okay, you know.

Like, I finished the damn Latin paper way early.

I am so not okay. I am swamped. It's ridic.

Also, I seem to have some sort of repetiive strain injury in my right hand. I'm on Tylenol now... one thing after the other! I'd just gotten over the wisdom tooth pain!

Speaking of which, the procedure went alright. Didn't hurt too much. Was awake on Novocaine for the whole thing. I thought it was pretty awesome. I even looked the process up on YouTube later. It's funny that I could feel Dr. Gelfand doing things to my gums but couldn't feel the pain. Also, he's sexy. I just haven't really been able to eat properly since Saturday morning haha. I've been swallowing most of my food whole. Chewing with front teeth is not very effective. At least I have jaw mobility back... earlier in the week I couldn't smile or laugh or talk very well.

Um, Friday I was offered that job in the Faculty of Science at Science Academic Services. Yay. I have to quit Subway this weekend though. Kind of nervous. They're going to spaz for sure because Ray's in India but it's so not my problem anymore. I'm giving my two weeks' notice and that's it.

Monday was a fantastic day. I was outside for five hours with a variety of people... Viki, Reinard, Rita, Andrew, David, and Laura all showed up at some point but Mike and I were there the whole time. We got sunburned haha.

My brain is so jumbly today?

Lost was fantastic last night. But Faraday! *cries*

I've been an emotional mess lately. Things with Peter are not very good, but when were they good? I don't know, he went on that day on Friday with Anastassia and had crappy sex because he's a fucking masochist and she is obviously not a sadist. So he's all frustrated and stuff but he's still seeing her, which I don't understand. He's ranting to me about how terrible it was and how he doesn't think he can have a relationship with her but he's putting on this facade. It's ridiculous. He should just be honest with her, but I guess it's hard. BDSM can get really complicated. I think I'm already fed up of dealing with it. Like, can I give up now? I'll just never have sex again, honest. I'll abstain from all whippy floggy chokey hurty things for the rest of my life!

I'm hungry. Ugh.

I slept four hours last night. I could have gotten four and a half hours of sleep but I had something that required immediate attention after I'd packed up my books. Okay, so it wasn't that important but I was frustrated.

We are all frustrated.

Sexually.

Yeah. Four months and four days. Okay, okay. I am fine. Not. Not fine. MUST REPRESS ALL HUMAN NEEDS!!!!

There's a really attractive guy darting about my life giving me this sort of false hope thing. But I don't know if it's false. But I don't get it and my brain is being very high school about it. And things are really really weird lately. Like, different. He's acting DIFFERENT. And there are moments that are tense and awkward and I'm not sure why but I know it's not me doing anything that's making things like this.

I don't know. I don't know.

All I know is that I really want him on so many levels all at once. Mainly intellectually and emotionally, actually.

I rambled a lot about a lot of bad things...

Mit dir bin ich auch allein

What a semi-lovely day.

I got to sleep in for an extra hour. Well, that was because of a funeral that Mom and Dad went to, but it's still a good thing.

Pan and Hari and Georgie came to visit me for a bit. It was good to see them.

Lecture was alright... I like McPherson's lectures.

I feel very alone though. And so angry about so many things.

This negative energy has its highs and lows. At times it makes me uber productive. At other times, it makes me want to lie down on the floor, glassy-eyed, Marpesian marbled, angry at the Moirai.

The latter, though? Not in my best interests.

I really need a de-stressing session.

P.S. Fuck my life

Exam schedule just came out a few minutes ago.

Here's mine.

AS/GK 1000 6.0
Saturday 23 May 2009, 8:30-10:30
Steadman Lecture Hall E

AS/LA 1000 6.0
Wednesday 27 May 2009, 12:00 - 2:00
Steadman Lecture Hall E

AS/HIST 1050 6.0
Sunday 24 May 2009, 12:00 - 3:00
Tait Mackenzie Student Fieldhouse East


Yep. Yep. That's right. Not ONLY do I have an exam at 8:fucking30 on a Saturday morning in STEADMAN LECTURE HALL (DEATHHHH), but I have an exam the NEXT DAY at NOON which gives me BARELY ANY TIME TO STUDY.

Then Latin on the 27th which isn't so bad.

There's one listed for Myth though, which is lame because we shouldn't have an exam for that course. I just emailed Fisher about it.

Also, why is the history one three-hours long? AND WHY IS IT IN TAIT? Kill meeeeee.

This is going to be a bad week.

I know this because Tyler knows this.

Haha I kid.

It's not going to be very nice though.

Getting my wisdom teeth out.
Getting my period.
Zio Amarino died yesterday.
My favourite jeans are tight.
I failed yesterday's Greek quiz.
Peter and I got into a massive fight last night.
I'm in love.
The weather fucking sucks.
I have too much reading to do for history.
I don't have a summer job yet.
Latin is becoming incomprehensible.
Alterna's bank machine is not working so I cannot deposit my paycheque or withdraw money, which I need to eat lunch, and also to pay for a fucking chai latte because I fucking want one. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck.

I need therapy.

Or a hug.

Or someone to torture with some nice hurty things for an hour or so.

This sucks mostly because last week was so excellent. Weather was beautiful, I finished the Aeneid, finished the Latin paper, no Latin class Wednesday, no Greek class Friday, skipped Wednesday's myth lecture because of a guest speaker and just enjoyed my friends, Lost was wicked cool, I slept a bit more than usual (except for Wednesday, I was up til 2 a.m. that night which was uber fun).

There are I think five weeks left of classes, and then exams (speaking of which, the schedule is up today, thanks for reminding me... yes, I just thanked myself). I can't wait til this is over. It was a good year, sure, but tumultuous. Really fucked up. Between all the emotional crap and the fucking strike, I am getting a little annoyed by now. It's hard to still have such a long way to go when some people are actually already DONE.

...then I will do it all over again starting June 8. Tralala summer school. At least it's just one course.

Also I figure it's worth mentioning that Peter wrote his exams last week and probably got into A.U.Th. Good for him. He wanted me to help pick his courses. I spent a lot of time trying to understand the Greek university system just to help him out but now that probably does really mean shit all.

:)

Bright sunshiney day. NOT.

Fuck you.

Down to the wire...

... for the next month and a half.

Insanely busy. It is too much.

But things are well. On the 27th I hung out with my true loves, got drunk, and had a fab time at Rocky. That was a good weekend because I got money from my extended fam :D

Saw Justin on Saturday :D He came by at around 8, left at a quarter to midnight.

Have a lot to do now though. Just posting to confirm aliveness.

Also, I am on Twitter these days, which I update way more often.

www.twitter.com/jjjjeah