Quo Vadis?

Day 2 of this blog and I am keeping regular. Joy of joys! I had a LiveJournal once and on the second day I'd already slacked off in terms of posting daily. Bad me. Very strange, really, considering I once had a diary so regular that I wrote in it everyday for three years straight. Needless to say I'm not very proud of some of the things written in there. Relationships with guys way older, silly teenage whining, etc.

I find it a bit odd to come to a blog with a purpose in mind. I feel it to be... uncreative. I tend to be quite creative when I write, even in Facebook wallposts. I like to be witty and sarcastic. I suppose I could still do that here I guess. Even though the topics don't really fit my stream of consciousness style, the actual content could.

Anyway, today I feel like talking about why exactly I am doing what I'm doing. As my major, I mean. A lot of people give me some weird looks when I tell them Classical Studies and History. One guy at Frosh on Monday actually said, "Really? WHOA. That's crazy. That's just insane."

Well, why?

It could be because most people hate history. Maybe they just haven't found a specific culture or time period they'd enjoy. I mean... I hate Canadian and American history. Crap if you ask me, besides the Roaring Twenties. Compared to the stuff I like, it is DRY.

Another thing is that most history majors seem to be going into history just because they can't figure out what else to do. Bothers me, a bit. But what can you do?

I'm going into History because... well... I love it. It's actually my life. By now I doubt I could even think of a life in which I didn't constantly read history books or make historical references in daily conversation. It's just an incomprehensible thought.

I often like to look back and think about why exactly I even started to be interested in history in the first place. I don't know, it makes me feel special to say, "Well, I have loved history for THIS MANY YEARS! I'm a bloody prodigy! Look at me!" For the most part, I credited it to Grade 5 Social Studies at St. Francis de Sales with Madame Carano. We learned about Ancient Egypt.

Recently, however, I was watching television with my mother one night last week and Titanic was on. The film came out when I was seven years old and I do own it on VHS, but because of its sheer length I don't watch it very often. Mom was watching it though, so I decided to sit through it, and memories came flooding back to me. After Titanic came out, I was intrigued by the actual event. I recall reading about fifty books on it - at age seven, this was quite a lot. No Internet either. I actually remember the librarian who worked at my school - St. Martha's, at the time - pulling out all the books on the Titanic from our shelves and letting me borrow them longer than the usual time frame. I think he let me keep a few.

So at age seven, I was reading about the Titanic, her sister ships, and the Unsinkable Molly Brown avidly. Huh. How's that for early?

My previously mentioned Social Science unit on Ancient Egypt lead me in a different direction. I'd never really thought about ancient history before. Around the time we started this unit, I watched a film called The Mummy for the first time. Besides becoming obsessed with Brendan Fraser (he was a hottie at the time), I was taken over by an impulse to learn as much as possible about the Egyptians. I ordered every book I could through Scholastic book orders, bought more at Chapters (which was a new chain then), and always interjected with more information during my teacher's lessons. I also fell in love with Antony and Cleopatra at age 11, a strange affection that's stayed with me since then.

Egypt was a huge part of my life. Halloween - I was Cleopatra. A kitten I found in our backyard - I named her Nefertari. Chat rooms - my screen name was "dark_egyptian_princess". My twelfth birthday? We went to the Royal Ontario Museum and chilled out at the Egyptian exhibit. Even the way I did my eyeliner when I first started wearing it (at 14 years old) was reminiscient of the Egyptian style of cosmetics. In fact, I still wear my eyeliner that way. I'm just lucky it suits the shape of my eyes.

It hurts me a bit to think that I'm not solely interested in Egypt anymore. When I first broke away from that specific field, it was like a break up. Titanic was just my puppy love fling. Egypt was my first love.

I can't really pinpoint when I started to drift towards the Tudors. I think any history lover looks into them at some point. Perhaps dysfunctional families are a theme I enjoy. Henry VIII and his six wives, the rage of Queen Mary, the rise of Queen Elizabeth... that held my heart for a while. I do still have a fondness for the Tudors. The television show The Tudors is actually one of my favourites. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers is just one of those actors over whom I can't help but gush, and the woman playing Katherine of Aragon... oh, I just love her. So while I'm not particularly obsessed over that era (one of my good friends is, actually - she's going to OttawaU for Medieval Studies), I do quite enjoy it.

I think I am drawn to tragedy, for next on my list were the Romanovs of Imperial Russia. Once again, a film is responsible - the animation Anastasia which I would now describe as a travesty lead me to investigate this princess. I ended up reading my first huge history book about Tsarina Alexandra... a great biography I think. I've got quite a few films on the Romanovs, and so many photos... especially of Alexei. And I can't help but cry when I think about them and how they died. I love reading about them. I can't even explain it, but I love every member of that family as if I know them. Recently the bodies of Anastasia and Alexei were found. I'm saddened to know that they didn't escape, but at the same time happy that they're at peace and that they never had to miss their family or relive the horrors of the Ekaterinburg basement. Like Tudor England, the Romanovs aren't exactly on my front burner, but are still a big part of my passion for history.

After Russia, I took a vacation back to Egypt to visit my perpetual Queen Cleopatra. Learned quite a bit about the Egyptian religion that I hadn't known before. Did a lot more reading. I ended up looking into her ancestry and came upon Alexander the Great, and through him... the Greeks. Oh, what can I even say about the Greeks! They need no introduction. They are just the Greeks. Enlightened, democratic, proud, yet all so different. There's a Greek tribe for every palate, I like to say. Athenians, Spartans... take your pick! My interest in Greece seems odd to me though, because unlike all my other favourite historical periods, I care NOTHING for their politics. Yay democracy... the end? Honestly, Pericles was great but that's about it. Rather I love their culture, their philosophy, and their mythology. Their OWN history. The Myceneans, the Achaeans, the Trojan War. And their monarchy, where it existed... yes, I am a huge and unashamed monarchist. Forgive me!

I think it was Grade 10 when I read The Memoirs of Cleopatra by Margaret George. A recommendation if I have one. I fell in love with Cleopatra and with Antony all over again. But I also fell in love with someone else - Caesar. That brings us to the present day, doesn't it? Rome. I found Rome. I hated them previously. Barbarians compared to Greeks, and of course Octavian was an EVIL bastard for all the propoganda he promoted against Cleopatra. But finally I started to read a lot about them, and I don't know how I ever got along without them! They just fit so nicely into my heart... oh I just love them and I cannot say it enough. First it was their culture, maybe. But it's spread. I love their entire history, their weird sense of morals, their military style and strength... their hilarious politics! The Late Republic is probably my favourite Roman period (Likewise, HBO's Rome is my favourite TV show despite its inaccuracies). I'm ashamed to say I didn't care much about the Empire until this summer when I read an entire history of Rome. I should have done that sooner, really. All my lovely Romans are fantastic, whether they be under monarchy, Republic, or Empire.

Gosh, I am really gabbing away here aren't I? Well, one last similar paragraph probably.

A few years ago, a book by Dan Brown called The Da Vinci Code came out. I don't need to discuss what it's about, I'm sure EVERYONE knows by now haha. But with that book came my re-entrance into the world of religion. Compounded with my discovery of The Secret Magdalene by Ki Longfellow (that book changed my life) and the 12U English seminar I did on The Gnostic Gospels by Elaine Pagels, Gnosticism became something that means so much more to me than Catholicism ever could. It's not that I practice it. I definitely cannot practice it. I can't abandon the many pleasures of the flesh. But it is the undeniable Truth of Gnosticism that I can't help but want to read about over and over and over again. I am reading The Magdalene Legacy by Laurence Gardner right now, and I am really loving it. Seriously... I recommend every book possible about the Gnostics and their beliefs.

After writing all this, I'm going to say something funny: despite my love for the above-mentioned subjects, I did not seriously consider going into History until this time last year.

What the hell!?

I know. I'd always thought English, maybe. Or writing. I considered Russian Studies for a while. Anthropology.

Then in summer of 2006, I went on a family vacation to Rome and Greece. Between standing in front of the Parthenon and overlooking the Old Forum, I asked myself: "Quo vadis?" (Latin for "Where are you going?")

Where was I going? Away from where I wanted to go, probably! But on that trip and thereafter I did a lot of thinking and I realized that there was nothing I wanted to do more than to spend the rest of my life doing what I already did - love history.

So there's the very long and detailed story of my historical background. And of why I am doing what I have always been meant to do.