26 February 2009

STOP IT!

Today I went to the ROM. Jolly fun times. It was a good day with Mike and Natalia and Widad. New adventures and such. We saw the diamond exhibit, which was wicked awesome.

But now my brain is really all over the place and I am going insane. So many thoughts at once. Oh so many doubts. Too fucking many. I don't know what anything means anymore. I don't know what HE means when he says those things, or when he leans in close, or when the lightest touch sets off all kinds of alarms inside my head. Why? Fuck, why?

Peter's being disgustingly supportive, and I hate it. I am never happy though. If he was being sulky, I'd hate that too. I just don't like having him be the supportive friend. He's my love, and my lovER. He can never be less than that even when we are eventually 100% done with each other.

Too many thoughts. Too many fucking feelings. Can I give up on emotions for Lent?

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