Seems that all I really was doing was waiting for you...

Oh, contentment.

Seven hours of studying happily resulted in my slaying of the easy peasy four pages that was my Latin exam in about half an hour. Despite a fire alarm in CLH at about 3:25, we managed to start it just twenty minutes later without much hassle.

Went to Anna's. Had a great salad and laughed at the lunacy of her family. We decorated her wall with pages from NOW magazine and watched hilarious things on TV. Stayed up til 3 a.m. just talking about the randomest things in that sort of delirious mode that my body sets itself to when I'm awake for 21 hours.

Woke up at 8:30ish this morning and headed downtown for her physics lecture. We ate lemon cranberry muffins. Her prof is funny and small. Then we dashed to Queen and Come As You Are and I bought a rubber flogger that hurt like a bitch and saw all the hurty things that made me lovelovelove Peter, mein liebchen, which I have been doing more since we have made our relationship less mad. More on that later. Anyway, then we got lemon crêpes to go from Our Place and I loved life a lot and we got back in time and no trouble from parents because they didn't find out I was lying. It was just a good day.

And I lovelovelove Peter. I said that but I am saying it again. Things are fucked. We aren't 'together' the way we were between September and February. But we are 'together' in the way we were from October to August. And you know what? I prefer that. It's less serious. It's less pressure. I can be more appreciative. I don't automatically go from thinking PETER to thinking PROBLEM OMG I WILL NEVER SEE HIM. Obviously that's on my mind but it just does not bother me anymore. I can't really label what's going on. Am I single? Am I "taken" (or rather, have I taken someone? Because no one takes me, bitch)? I don't know, I can't answer that. He's got his Facebook bit set to "In an open relationship" again and it makes me really happy.

Maybe we can be Brian Kinney and Justin Taylor the way I always wanted. Once they had their outline in place, they became happy.

And shut the fuck up, world. I don't care what you say. I can be mad about Peter and mad about this other upstart bloke at the same time! Well I don't know if I'm mad about him... but sometimes he won't get out of my brain. I don't know where it's going to go but I would like to have a small something with him at least for a few minutes, just a few minutes of connection, you know?

But he's not Peter. No one is Peter. And I don't want anyone else to be Peter.

<3

I'm in love all over again. Shit.