Dude, Where's my Catharsis?

Ever feel like your life is a high-speed car chase without brakes?

Yeah. I'm there.

It seems to me that every time I finally get a job, everything else decides to take notice and pile up. Homework, tests, and assignments? Sure, why not! And suddenly all my friends care about me. So now they want to see me. Great timing!

My problem is that when I'm stressed, I don't know where to begin. So I just... don't begin. I can't even seem to make a list because everything is floating around in my brain at once.

• read the two [probably boring] articles for history and write a five-page comparative essay for October 28th
• write two summary papers for history tutorial (but first I must find out which readings qualify)
• study for fucking map test in two weeks
• study for random Latin test on Friday... flash cards? syntax sheets? suicide?
• learn the goddamn third fucking declension in Latin... why must they have five? 
• study Greek adjectives like mad, as well as neuter endings and articles (just after i mastered the feminine and masculine, of course) before Surtees gets the better of me and stops gifting me with A+ on my quizzes
• print out lecture notes and organize folders
• start reading the motherfucking Iliad 

Now add Subway, where I started last night. It wasn't so bad. Actually yesterday was pretty terrible since no one speaks English and therefore I stood around like an idiot. This morning I trained with Mallorie which was significantly better because she could actually tell me what I need to do.

I am just not so keen on this job thing. I'd rather not have one, but I have no money. I just worry for my mental health. I recently had a psych major (Barry) tell me that I am going to go crazy soon. Great. Mom really doesn't seem to care... I don't think she understands how depressing it is to not see your friends and spend all your time doing homework. It's sad that my social life for the week consisted of staying up until 1 a.m. talking to Anna and Peter on MSN last night. 

I maintain that if I lived in Toronto, I would not have this problem. It would fix most of my problems, really. Even if I did have a job there... I could go out and DO something after a shift. Fuck's sakes. 

I just feel really overwhelmed. And cast aside. And I hate that I have to make concessions, like working in a shitty place devoid of professionalism and English... and pay, so far. Or having to take a history course that I really hate a lot. Or not seeing people I love. 

It's, what, a month and a half in? And I'm already needing a nice break.

For now it looks as if my last exam is on December 16th. Two months five days until some sort of freedom! *waves flag half-heartedly*

I think I would just be really happy if I quit my job. It's just difficult to do that when you've just started training. 

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. 

Fuck.