Remember Mrs. Lot when she turned around?

Nights are apparently not good times for me to be... alive? Hah no... bad way to put it. 

I've just found myself - YET AGAIN - in a terrible mood. In the evening. I'm not sure what it is. Maybe it's the fact that I don't have anything to distract me from all the things I try to forget about when I'm involved in something else. 

Schoolwise, life's been grand. The discussion group was actually really good yesterday. It was a lot more relaxed, and the new girl in the group is a really nice English major. I feel like I'm getting to know everyone and I'm not so intimidated by Megan and Barry anymore. 

Myth lecture was hilarious as usual. Tordoff talking about gangster Hades curb-crawling Persephone. And about Tom Cruise. All the usual random humour. Love that guy.

History today... was history. I must say though, I do prefer McPherson to Stephen. Stephen's lectures lack structure. It's hard to go all over the place while taking notes! I'm just worried about this 62-page article I have to read for Tuesday by E.P. Thompson. It's called "The Moral Economy of the British Crown". Delightful. Colin called it the article that would make us want to drop the course. Unfortunately that's not really an option for me! 

Speaking of Colin, I finally went to get my history books today and THEY WERE NOT THERE. Sold out! The profs only ordered 280 and there are 360 of us. ARGH. Now I have to wait until next week. But Germinal was there for some ridiculous reason so I bought it for only $12.60. Really pissed about Home, Work and Play and Writing History not being there though. At least we don't have to have any more of that done for next week's tutorial.

Today I had that green tea frozen yogurt. It was very great. 

Apparently Lew's coming to see me at York tomorrow. I haven't seen her since New Year's. We've been a bit shaky recently. I don't know if I should trust her when she says she's coming... she's notorious for just not showing up. But even if I talk shit behind her back sometimes, I really just want to see her. I don't know why I just keep feeling this way but I have just recently become aware of how alone I am, of how cut off from everything and everyone I am. I'm just constantly arguing with Anna because I don't tell her things. She says it's not about the things themselves, but the fact that I don't trust her and that it affects our relationship on a deeper level.

Conclusion: I suck at relationships... all of them.